Captured by Sam

Have you ever had the feeling, when you look at a scene through the viewfinder, hesitating whether you should press down the shutter? You are waiting, and waiting; deep down, you know this shot most likely is not going to work, but if you don’t press the shutter now, it will be gone. So you take the photo. Then you come back, you look at the photo on your computer, regretting taking that photo. When you click down on that shutter, you already know it’s not a good photo, but you took it anyway. This is how I feel about a lot of the photos I took in Chicago.

Hey guys, this is Sam, welcome back to another episode of “Does my creative experience and subjective emotions affect my choice and judgment of my photos,” aka, does format matter?

I have been sitting on this post for a long while now, wondering if I should put it out, because I don’t quite like these photos I took during a recent trip to Chicago.

I love Chicago. It was my first time there, even though I was there for a very short amount of time. Despite the mostly cloudy and rainy days, even though we didn’t make it to the Art Institute museum because they were closed on the day we were there. Chicago is a beautiful city, with clean streets, amazing architecture, great weather, at least that one afternoon when we landed and the one afternoon before we took off… Maybe because of how much I like Chicago, I felt disappointed in myself, that I didn’t photograph Chicago with my full heart. This is New York all over again.

This video was intended to be a Cinestill 400D review video. I already shot one roll last time when I went to the Cinestill photo walk; I really liked the color and the texture. So I decided to shoot a little more and make a video to talk about this film…

I mean, this is not a new film. When this film just came out, it was pretty difficult to get, so I have been saving them for a perfect shooting situation… anyway, I finally got to give it a try a year later. I love the color, I love the halation glow, I love the warm tone and how it renders green. I like this film; I think this is the kind of film stock I will keep going back to… However, I don’t like… the photos.

I feel like these photos are… kinda lazy. I can see it because I took these photos.

I know if I waited a little longer, he would look my way.

I know if I wasn’t pressured by the other customer who is waiting for her coffee order right behind me, I’d frame this better. I know if I walk a couple of more steps in, the composition would be more interesting. If only I could make up my mind on including the bike guy or not.

I like this scene, but when I pick up my photo camera, he walked away, I could have gone to him and asked if I can take a photo of him. I could, but I didn’t.

I didn’t like these photos because I know I half-assed it, I didn’t take them serious enough, and I think it shows. Because I was traveling, I picked a zoom lens, and I don’t like the vignette around the corners; should have stayed with a prime lens… They are not bad, but they are not good either.

Am I letting my creative experience and subjective emotions affect my judgment? Am I not liking them because they were taken on a small 35mm camera with a not good enough lens? Would the same scene look better if it was shot on medium format? Would I spend more time and put more effort into the photo if I was shooting with a medium format camera? Is it time to say goodbye to 35mm altogether? What happened to just walking around, shooting random stuff, and just enjoying that? Am I too hard on myself? Or am I not pushing hard enough… Am I overthinking again?

After coming back from Chicago, I went to a book fair with my Hasselblad and shot some portraits. I went there by myself, I went there mainly to take photos. This is a much better experience for the photographer in me, and I really like how the photos turned out. They are nothing special, nothing fancy, just really simple, straightforward portraits. And I like them.

Is it because I was more focused and more intentional? Is it because I was shooting on a better camera with a better lens? Is it because it’s medium format and the negatives are larger? Or is it just simply because I was shooting portraits and I just simply enjoy shooting portraits more.

I don’t know… Sorry for throwing all these questions at you… From here, I think I’m going to stop shooting 35mm for a little bit and see what happens. If you are following my Instagram, you might have seen the recent post about the 67 format camera I just got; I’m so excited to try it out, and I can’t wait to share with you guys. Yeah, this is it for this week’s video, sorry for all the mumble jumble. This is Sam; I will see you next time.